An Odd Feeling!
My little boy had a soccer game at 8:00 this morning, and so away we went! As always, we got there early so he had time to warm up, while the parents stood around and chat away in a group of just couples.
Suddenly, I felt very alone among these people that I've known for the last three years. It was an odd feeling of being so out of place. I found myself slowly walking away from the crowd as they talked and laughed and complained about the aches of their last night soccer game together.
It finally soaked into me that they are couples, husbands and wives, and their children forming a soccer team! They share the same activity, and they have something to talk about whereas my boy and I are just the outsiders!
The feeling was strange! It is not the first time I am alone! I have been doing this by myself for over seven years, and my son knows that he is on his own to care for himself out there since I am disabled. My mobility is limited! My financial situation is in a slum! I can barely afford to pay for my child to play, leave alone paying for me to play even if I could play!
Watching the parents buzz over their kids, run to them when they are needed; I felt bad for my boy!
Suddenly, I felt very alone among these people that I've known for the last three years. It was an odd feeling of being so out of place. I found myself slowly walking away from the crowd as they talked and laughed and complained about the aches of their last night soccer game together.
It finally soaked into me that they are couples, husbands and wives, and their children forming a soccer team! They share the same activity, and they have something to talk about whereas my boy and I are just the outsiders!
The feeling was strange! It is not the first time I am alone! I have been doing this by myself for over seven years, and my son knows that he is on his own to care for himself out there since I am disabled. My mobility is limited! My financial situation is in a slum! I can barely afford to pay for my child to play, leave alone paying for me to play even if I could play!
Watching the parents buzz over their kids, run to them when they are needed; I felt bad for my boy!
6 comments:
Icy, that 'single' and alone feeling is familiar to me too. I can be just fine, then something seems to come over me and I feel very much alone. It passes though, as you know and it will pass for you too!
I have to agree with lizzie, but it's awful feeling like that and it just comes out of the blue (though maybe its always there in the back of our minds)
I feel like that a lot, I remember in my Son's school I was always trying so hard to make friends with the Mums but because I never quit fitted in with any of the ethnic groups I was always marginalized even though my command of the English language is admirable lol. I feel a very uprooted and unsettled soul being s second generation immigrant which quite sucks sometimes. I know what you feel so now I have used that to my advantage for a change and feel I am a World citizen, belonging but yet not belonging, if you know what I mean. After I cook the chicken I will make another update lol ahaha
Icy, Here is good place for nutrients. www.vitacost.com
I take Melatonin 3mg for sleep help. Very good. vitamins at walmart ie are useless along with most others you find in stores. vitacost Saves one up to 80%. I love the company. they have best brands too. L-Triptophan 1000mg very good for sleeping rest also.
At 67 I have been single for 30 yr. after 10 years I was 'over' my marriage and now wouldn't change it for the world. No bosses! Freedom is Fabulous once you adjust. Its not for everyone of course. so many, ie my daughter, are co-dependent.
Icycucky I found you! Remember me? Just wanted you to know I have been offline for a LONG time.. but have just made over my su site. I made sure to repost your poem "The Invitation".
As always I love your artful skill with words!
Come say hi.. you remember where...?
~moonbeam zapper~
Lizzie--Thank you for your words of comfort..I'll shake it off soon!
Geri--I know, out of the blue, it just hit!
Jenai--I can totally relate to your feelings.
Sissy T--Thanks for the information. I will check it out!
Moonbeam zapper--Thank you for finding me..How very kind of you to re-post that poem!
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